~  Dr. James Dobson Focus on the Family

Cont'. from your Newsletter, "Marriage Killers", (written media mailed to you) continuing with point number 5 through 12....

5. Unrealistic Expectations:  Some couples come into marriage anticipating rose-covered cottages, walks down primrose lanes, and unmitigated joy.  There is no way a marriage between tow imperfect human beings can deliver on that expectation.  The late counselor Jean Lush believed, and I agree, that this romantic illusion is particularly characteristic of American women, who expect more form their husbands than they are capable of providing.  The consequent disappointment is an emotional minefield.

6.  Space Invaders:  By space invaders, I am not referring to aliens from Mars.  Rather, my concern is for those who violate the "breathing room" needed by their partners, quickly suffocation them and destroying the attraction between them.  Jealousy is one way the phenomenon manifests itself.  Another is a poor self-concept, which leads the insecure spouse to build a cage around the other.  It often suffocates the relationship.  Love must be free, and i must be confident.

7.  Sexual frustration and its partner, the greener grass of infidelity:  It is a deadly combination!

8. Business Collapse:  Failure in work does bad things to men especially.  Their agitation over financial reverses sometimes precipitates anger within the family.

9.  Business Success:  It is almost as risky to succeed wildly as it is to fail miserably in business.  King Solomon wrote: "Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread" (Proverbs 30:8).  Edward Fitzgerald said it another way: "One of the saddest pages kept by the recording angel is the record of souls that have been damned by success."  It's true.

10.  Getting Married too Young:  Girls who marry between 14 and 17 years of age are more than twice as likely to divorce as those who marry at 18 or 19 years of age.  Those who marry at 18 or 19 are 1.5 times as likely to divorce as those who marry in their 20's.  The pressures of adolescence and the stresses of early married life do not mix well.  Finish he first before taking on the second.